It’s not as easy as you might think, finding funny jokes about Information Technology
Maybe it’s because it’s a very dull and tedious subject, populated by dull and tedious people. Oh well, never mind. At least pinching other people’s jokes has given my brain a bit of a rest this week.
Q: How many IT Consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: it’s obviously a hardware problem.
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don’t.
A man flying a hot air balloon realises that he is lost. He reduces height and shouts to a man below to get some directions:
“Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”
“Yes. You’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above a field” replies the man below.
“You must work in Information Technology” says the balloonist.
“Yes. I do. How did you know?” asks the man.
“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but It’s of no use to anyone.”
“You must work in management” replies the man below.
“I do,” replies the balloonist, “But how did you know?”
“Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were in before we met, but now it’s my fault.”
An IT Support Consultant goes to a firing range. He shoots ten bullets at the target. The supervisor checks the target and sees that not one bullet hit the target. He shouts back to the IT Consultant that he missed completely. The consultant asks him to check the result and gets the same answer. The consultant then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off. He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here! The problem must be at your end!’
HR manager to job candidate: “Hm, I see you’ve had no computer training, so you are qualified for upper management but not for our entry level positions.”
Q: Where do you go if you become ‘at one’ with your computer?
Q: What’s the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman?
A: The car salesman can probably drive.
Q: What’s the definition of an IT professional?
A: Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
Four engineers get in a car. The car won’t start.
“Starter motor’s gone”, says the mechanical engineer.
“Dead battery”, says the electrical engineer.
“Muck in the petrol”, says the chemical engineer.
“Let’s all get out and get back in again”, says the IT engineer.