I think my brain needs some temporary files removing, and then a defrag
I’ve tried re-booting it with coffee twice this morning but it keeps on freezing. The problem with Christmas Day falling on a Thursday is that there’s only Boxing Day left to get the brain working well enough to write a blog for Saturday. Since the coffee’s not working – and rather than admit defeat entirely – I’ve decided to cheat, so I’ve been hunting around for some more IT jokes. None are mine. All are stolen. But I now get another seven days to get my own internal hard drive back in working order before the next blog is due.
Computer Support: Double click on “My Computer”.
User: I can’t see your computer…
Computer Support: No… click on “My Computer” on your computer.
User: How am I supposed to click on your computer from my computer?!
Computer Support: There is an icon labelled “My Computer” on your computer… double click on it…
User: What on earth is your computer doing on my computer?
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. “No thanks, I’m travelling light.”
If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0.
I changed my password to “incorrect”. So whenever I forget what it is the computer will tell me “Your password is incorrect”.
Wikipedia: I know everything!
Google: I have everything!
Facebook: I know everybody!
Internet: Without me you are nothing!
Electricity: Aren’t you all forgetting something?
A customer walks into PC World – “I’m looking for a mystery adventure game with lots of graphics. Something really challenging.”
“Well,” replied the salesman, “have you tried Windows 8?”
How do you keep a computer programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo with the instructions “lather, rinse, repeat.”
Existentialist: I keep hitting “escape”, but I’m still here.
A computer program will do what you tell it to do. Sometimes that’s the same as what you want it to do.
User: My computer is reporting a fatal error!
Customer Support: Well there’s nothing we can do now, you should have called us when it was still critical!
What is a cursor? Someone having computer problems
At least I’ve not repeated the stolen jokes I used this time last year (except the wifi cartoon).