Oh no, not more IT jokes

.. and so, without further ado, here they are:

Thanks to autocorrect, 1 in 5 children will be getting a visit from Satan this Christmas.

Upload to CloudI love pressing F5 – it’s so refreshing.

How many quantum physicists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change it and one to not change it.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft… and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labour.

I’m not interrupting you, I’m putting our conversation into full-duplex mode.

Fudge functionA doctor, a civil engineer and a computer programmer are discussing whose profession is the oldest.
“Surely medicine is the oldest profession,” says the doctor, “God took a rib from Adam and created Eve and if this isn’t medicine I don’t know what it is”.
The civil engineer breaks in:
“But before that He created the heavens and the earth from chaos. Now that’s civil engineering”.
The programmer thinks a bit and then says:
“And who do you think created chaos?”

The guy who invented predictive text died last night. – his funfair is next monkey.

Mouse has movedThe guy who invented auto-correct died today – restaurant in peace.

What do you call an iPhone that isn’t joking? Sirious.

Black coffeeThe closest I’ve ever been to a diet is erasing food searches from my browser history.

Behind every successful student there is a deactivated Facebook account.

Man: Siri, call my wife.
Siri: Susan McNaughton is not in your contacts.
Man: Susan Jameson is my wife.
Siri: I’ve added Susan Jameson as your wife.
Man: Call my wife.
Siri: Which wife?

What do Facebook employees do to waste their time at work?

Toe tagSomeone guessed my password. Now I suppose I had better rename the cat.

Algorithm (noun): word used by computer programmers when they can’t be bothered trying to explain what they do

Waiting for a bus one cold morning, the woman next to me mentioned that she makes a lot of mistakes when texting in the cold. As an IT Consultant, I know a case of typothermia when I see one.

moving to cloudCan 3D printers make ink cartridges for 2D printers?

Here’s the full list (so far) of a seemingly-endless series of jokes about IT


(Last updated 04/12/2023)