IT Jokes (ver 17.12.22)

In the past, I have owned up to stealing, filching, recycling, and curating rotten jokes from around the internet. This year, how about “regurgitating”?

A year or two ago, I admitted to being embarrassed at seeing jokes that I’d stolen being credited to me on the internet. This year I’m seeing my stolen versions stolen by others and credited to them! Huh.

An IT Support Consultant was helping clients with their internet connection. The husband called out to his wife in the other room for the computer password. “Start with a capital S, then 123,” she shouted back. They tried S123 several times, but it didn’t work. So they called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, “I really don’t know what’s so difficult about typing Start123.”

Can’t see an end…
Have no control…
There’s no escape…
Time for a new keyboard.

Zen koans for the 2020’s:

If an anonymous comment goes unread, is it still irritating?
What is the sound of no hands texting?

I call my printer “Bob Marley”.
It’s always jammin’. “Don’t worry, ’bout the ink. Cuz everything you print, gonna turn out white”.

As we waited for a number 88 in the frosty weather, the woman next to me said that she makes a lot of mistakes when texting in the cold. First sign of typo-thermia.

My grandad asked me how to print on his computer.
I told him it’s Ctrl-P.
He told me he hasn’t been able to do that for ages.

Next time Google asks you to prove you are not a robot, think about this – a website driven by artificial intelligence is asking a human to prove he’s not a robot. Still think you are in control?

Just for once, I’d like a username and password prompt to say: “That’s close enough.”

If you were in the Apple store when a robbery took place, would that make you an iWitness?

My laptop was driving me crazy. “The A, E, and I keys keep sticking,” I complained to a friend. She quickly diagnosed the problem, “Your computer is suffering from irritable vowel syndrome.”

Last week I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 2gb, 4gb, 8gb, 16gb. It was a trip down memory lane.

This is the 10th year I’ve been nicking jokes. As far as I know, I’ve only repeated myself once or twice. Here’s the full list (so far) of a seemingly-endless series: